Featuring the Roman Catholic Diocese of Tagbilaran

AN EPISTLE TO A FRIEND

I always thought you were the best

I guess I always will.

            I always felt that we were blest,

            And I still feel that way still

… If I have only one friend left, I wanted to be you.

Hello there! Last Monthly Going Home when I listened to this song, I have remembered you. I seized the song with salutations and nostalgia. Yes, it was been a month that we hadn’t talked to. It was been a month of our unenviable and awkward moments. Yet, those stiff and quiet days seem to be the best days of my life. I enjoyed my life while seeing your struggles away from me. I haven’t appreciated your presence because I considered you as a ‘mental being’, as so as you to me. Our mode of life was changing and has changed us until we decided to concede each of our own pride last Seminarians’ Day.

Our friendship has brought me to the extremes. Since day the one we first met, you have dropped your hat despite of your biases and my flaws. You changed your self-partial biases to fullness and your prejudices to cordialities. You gave me your full trust and faith despite of my inadequacies. I did not pray for an easy seminary life but for strength to endure the difficult one with someone. You have given me comfort in times of my persecution. You have given me joy in times of my sadness. Indeed, you have confided me with felicitations and euphoria. But there were and are times that you have abused my gratefulness. You have added insult to an injury and neglected my goodness. I tend to move away from you yet you still insisted to be with me. There was a tug of war between my ill and amiable mood. And there you came; you got angry with me and made me out of the blue. You moved away and “hated” me with your childish reasons. Also, you sent to me a resentment letter, trying to conscientize me; yet, pride moved me to much tension. I snubbed you due to this feeling of vanity and arrogance. Hitherto all of a sudden, this resentment vanished when we had bearded hug that very day. Isn’t so sweet? Yuck! Hahahaha!

It takes two to tango where change has become our predominant mode of life. Thus far from our disputes and quarrels, I have felt change in our amity and there, I find strength. Change has harnessed our friendship. It was change of mind that has separated us and it was also change of heart that keeps us together. The diverse potentialities have brought us to the actuality of “reality”. Change is for real. Yes, change may cause our disagreements but it strengthens our relationship.

Indeed! Change is for real! Change has come! There is nothing static in this world but change. But change does not defy true relationship for by the measure of true relationship is true friendship. I thought that I can change friendship but it was friendship that changes me. It was difficult for me to start change for a better. But little by little, I learned the style. Changes have brought me to discover who I am really, extrinsically and intrinsically. Change has become His grace for me. God himself allows change to happen for me to become stronger and firmer in facing the day-to-day struggles. Change harness us to betterment—a metanoia.

There is a time for change because change is our common denominator. We all undergo change for it is our mode in life. We all develop. We all vary. We all transform. For what? It is because change attaches us to our fellows. It is a two-way, either for better or for worse, because of our free- choice. If we take it to the positive, we could reap goodness; if we take it to the negative, we may reap harm that may lead to our detrimental. Change differs as far man is concerned but it does not vary how we handle it.

I am blessed with really beautiful friendships. Vivid memories of laughter, adventures, and long talks where we share our dreams and fears are sprinkled generously throughout my memory. As a highly relational person, friendships and community make me into the fullest version of myself. Without them, I struggle.

I’m not a perfect, I make lot of mistakes but still I love those people who stay with me after knowing how I really am. I have experience that living this state is never easy; it’s a constant struggle. Along the way, I have failed many times and each of my failure taught me to strive more. Indeed, there is and always will be a room for change.

Thank you bro and God bless.