Featuring the Roman Catholic Diocese of Tagbilaran

OHANA IS LOVE

Father And Mother, I Love You.

            My family is my resting place, my fortress and my refuge. Every time I have given an opportunity to go home, I usually spend quality time with them. Though brief, I seize the moment. Despite of the joy and contentment I felt here in the seminary, I do feel the reverberating sounds of regress and sadness. I often miss their presence. They are essential to me and I owe a lot them for what I am now today.

            Though families came in all shapes and sizes, I have the best family in the world. I am the fourth fruit of the love of my parents. My parents, Dodong and Beth, are but spoilers. Everything I need and want, they usually provide it without hesitation. I owe to them my being spoiled brat. Then, my three elder sisters are my girlfriends. That’s why I choose to remain single because I have many girlfriend sisters. My two younger brothers are but parasites. They always ask money from me for their leisure. Sad to say, I am obliged to provide them because I am their elder brother. What a family life. Hahahaha! That is my family—the Velasco Family. But what makes my family essential to me? What then is the essence of “family”? What is in familyness?

Familyness is unconditional acceptance. Whether I like it or not, I cannot choose my parents; the same way as my parents cannot choose who will be their child. Their child maybe ugly or fine-looking, ailing or healthy or dull or smart is out of their choice. The only course parents can do is to accept the flaws of their children. I remembered my parents who once said, “Dawaton nalang ni nato, basig mao niy makapa-santos nato.” I, with my fellow siblings, may have done mistakes, challenges and difficulties in life and it is our great consolation to see the embracing arms from our parents taping our back. Ohana’s love is unconditional; it is all about encompassing love and acceptance. This love makes us at ease and at home.

            Familyness is at-homeness, where we can loosen our polo, kick-off our shoes and relax at the sofa. Home is our abode and our dwelling place. We feel comfortable, peace and amity. Home is where we can express fully our self without hesitation. Every time I go home, my family welcomes me with full love. My home is where I can laugh out loud and sleep all I want. This at-homeness leads us to peace and oneness of heart.

            Familyness is a unity in diversity or sometimes unity in spite of diversity. Family members always unite when it comes to food and outing. I remembered every Christmas and birthday celebrations, we are busy preparing for the foods. Papa prepares the viands; Mama, our utensils; my sisters, the dessert; and we, the little boys, our swimming gears. We go for escapade and eat together. Also, our varied tiring chores at home and the mundane routines are transformed in to joy when there is food—a gasa from Papa or Mama. Sometimes, I, with my fellow siblings, have different characteristics. But what make us united? It is the great love of our parents. Our family may have shortcomings, flaws that may cause disorder in the family. Yet, unity is sometimes enhanced by diversity. It is the unity in the family that makes a family attached and close.

            Familyness is a life of connectedness and accountability. For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health, until death will do part, family is the place where we are always connected. The love that keeps the members united is the same love that connects their every heart. And because of that, we are always accountable. In the family, I first learned to be responsible, to put away my toys, clean up the messes, curb our violence and express my love. On our wrongdoings while we hope for forgiveness, family is where we live with our own and each other's mistakes. We can't escape the temporal happiness by just moving away. In the family, we live till we die in the beds we make every day.

            Familyness is empowerment. From my first day of school, on the day of my graduation, on the days of my malady, on the day I went for a job and one the day I left home and entered the seminary, it was my family that said "Go for it, you can do it! Family is where I am believed in, nurtured, scolded, prodded—all towards making me the best possible man I can be. It is my family that harnessed and molded me to become a better version of myself.

            Acceptance, unity in diversity, at-homeness, connectedness, belongingness, responsibility, and empowerment—these are the essence of a family. I am truly blessed that I am fashioned to a better me. Lilo, in my movie, once said, "Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten." Yes, it is true. Family is always there, no matter their arrival date as if it was since birth or just recently. Family, which stands in the acrostic Father And Mother, I Love You, surrounds us by a cloud of love, comfort, support, and many more things. Though in this contemporary age we are challenged with individualism, let us not forget the true meaning of our own families.